Verdict: Guilty For Watching Porn

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Many people experience guilt when watching porn

Feeling Guilt When Watching Porn

The other day my workout buddy and I were killing it at the gym. We decided to have a chest day and we were killing the bench press. While in between sets he asked me what I’ve been up to recently. I told him that I just  started a blog addressing porn addiction. Eventually we moved to the topic of how you often feel guilt when watching porn. He told me a hilarious story about his uncle getting caught in front of his family. His Uncle was a big fan of porn back when he was a young boy( my gym buddy is in his late 30’s). As you all know most people in the 90’s didn’t have the luxury of watching porn on their computer or phone. If you wanted to see a pair of knockers you had to get your hands on a playboy magazine or a VHS from blockbuster (yes those actually existed back in the day). Well one day his uncle invited his family to watch a boxing match at their house. My buddy’s entire family from his parents, grandma, cousins, etc were all at his uncle’s house. They knew they were going to watch a fight however, it would be a fight they weren’t expecting

Once they all assembled his uncle turned on his huge plasma screen tv. They all crowded around ready to watch a beat down. You can probably guess what happened next. For a good 10 seconds they saw a beat down of some girls vagina all over their tio’s TV. The shrieks of pleasure hit everyone’s ears, even the innocent children in attendance.  His uncle quickly rushed over to the TV, embarrassed, and tried to shield the screen with his arms. His wife screamed out, outraged that her husband was watching other women behind her back. The whole time she had no clue that her spouse kept this dirty little secret to himself. A couple years after this incident the couple got a divorce and this was a big factor. If only my buddy’s uncle had ejected the VHS after faping off he would’ve been just fine (sike.)

We all try to hide it

I’m pretty sure if you watch porn the majority of you do it in secrecy. Of course when your around your buddies you will probably discuss that video about Lisa Ann or Gianna Michaels. However, I doubt you’ll tell your parents the same. How would your mom react if she knew your dirty little secret. I remember the first time I was caught jerking off on my mom’s computer. The feeling sucked ass. All those times I successfully faped in peace however after that instance I had to do it in secrecy. If I was jerking off and she walked in my room I would have to do a mad scramble to my bed before she caught me. Or if you have siblings you might end up like Morty and scar them for life:

In our society porn is often looked down upon. Most people do it when they are alone and no one is watching them. However, when their secret gets out they often feel like Morty.  If you are a drug or alcohol addict people will look down upon you however they may show you pity. On the flip side, being a porn addict can often be very embarrassing. Many people look down upon you for watching porn from your family, to you spouse, or even your close friends. I recall a moment where I was caught viewing porn through my dorm window when I first went to college. People who I thought I was close with were bashing me and telling my secret across my whole social circle. Even today whenever I tell people I started a blog discussing porn addiction they often respond with ” and you don’t mind talking about that?” In our society it’s just not normal to openly discuss pornography with others. This stigma is backed by facts. While only 12% of Americans admit to viewing porn according to a study in 2013 by the Pew Research Center. However, porn hub released for their yearly views in 2015 and the statistics showed that 21.2 billion videos were watched on their site alone in that year .So the 12% of the population isn’t realistic. Those are just the people who had the courage to admit their obsession.

Do Not Be Ashamed To Talk About It

In order to not let the guilt of watching porn affect you, you should tell someone that you know won’t judge you.Maybe that person is your best friend or that super cool parent who loves you no matter what. Maybe that person is some dude across the country that you met on a forum the other day. For me that support can from my therapist. As I became more aware of the problems porn caused me, I became extremely upset if I relapsed. I hated the fact that I was an addict who couldn’t control his urges. However, my therapist showed me support and gave me encouragement in dealing with my problems. When I was given support from my therapist a huge weight was taken off my shoulders. Overtime I became more accepting of my addiction and it helped me in my recovery process. IF you can find others that can relate or give you support you are well on your way to a Fapless Life

Talk out your problems to end your guilt when watching porn
Talking out your problem with a trusted friends can help you greatly.

Also, do not beat yourself up over your addiction.. An interesting phenomenon described by Bakadesuyo says that if you think of yourself as a bad person you will act on those bad thoughts. Imagine an addict who constantly watches porn. Whenever she tries to abstain she routinely fails over and over again. Feeling sorry for herself, she reinforces her negative thought process by telling herself she’s “pathetic”, “worthless” or “weak.” b After she throws a pity party for herself  she will rationalize her decision. She’ll say “well since I’m such a bad person I might as well watch porn anyway”. In a sense she’s fueling the terrible cycle of addiction and is inhibiting her recovery process. Instead, she should realize that many other successfully rebooted addicts dealt with the same problems as her. Once she realizes this and changes her mental dialogue she will feel much better. A person only feels guilty if their doing something wrong in their own eyes. If you believe their is nothing wrong with trying to recover you wont feel guilt when watching porn anymore.

Start a new Cycle Instead

Many times I felt sorry for myself. I was that person who loved to talk shit about myself, however when I started giving myself grace pretty soon I was less inclined to watch porn. What most people don’t understand is that this process often takes months even years to see significant change. At first you will likely continue to watch porn , however you will see results if you change your self-talk. On the contrary, if your that person who uses this talk as an excuse to watch porn your defeating the purpose. If you validate your addiction by saying It’s ok for you to watch porn and jerk off every hour well your shit out of luck. However, if you try your hardest to not watch porn yet your brain gives in to the urges you will be ok. You took action and made a conscious effort to abstain from pornography.

In summary, if you want this guilt  to go away, take these steps:

  1. Find support for your addiction
  2. Take action to abstain from your addiction
  3. Show grace and compassion if you do relapse (Which you will)
  4. Rinse and repeat.

I promise you, overtime you’ll become guilt free and finally free yourself from porn addiction. That is unless you want to end up like my buddy’s uncle. The choice is yours.

Till next time,

Brandon